Adoption: The Making Of Me Podcast: Who Am I? Where Did I Come From?

Confession time: adoptions and adopted children were not something I thought much about until...I read the 2014 book Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline.

From the book, I learned that between 1854 and 1929, so-called orphan trains ran regularly from the cities of the East Coast to the farmlands of the Midwest, carrying thousands of abandoned children whose fates would be determined by pure luck. Would they be adopted by a kind and loving family, or would they face a childhood and adolescence of hard labor and servitude? In the book, a young Irish immigrant, Vivian Daly, was one such child, sent by rail from New York City to an uncertain future a world away. Her experience was not a good one.

The book opened my eyes to the thorny and often painful issues surrounding adoption. Recently, I began listening to the Adoption: The Making Of Me podcast.

My first observation: The podcast title is inspired. The name informs listeners of the topic of the podcast and the tangled psychological morass that adoptions can create.

Second, I learned a lot about adoption in America. Of the 53,500 children and youth who were adopted in 2021, 55 percent were adopted by their foster parent(s) and 34 percent by a relative. The average age of adoption is six years old.

The evil sister to adoption is the foster care system, and that entire setup is -- and has been -- a complete mess. The system, while improving, is still afflicted with abuse -- physical and emotional -- and neglect.

According to the podcast, adopted children are vastly overrepresented in the criminal justice system among current and recovered addicts and people suffering from depression.

So two adult adoptees, Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne, decided to delve into all things adoption, from their perspectives as adult adoptees, to DNA testing, to nature vs. nurture and beyond.

I think I have to award a prize for the most unique podcast creation tale. Sarah and Louise are former business partners who had a successful ice cream truck in Los Angeles. Talk about your career change.

Co-host Louise Browne is an adoptee, dog and animal lover, hiker and kayaker, Executive Operations at a fintech company, former owner of a gourmet ice cream truck (with her podcast co-host) and supporter of women and all people.

Louise was adopted a few days after birth in 1968 into a loving home in a suburb of Denver, Colorado, and lived there until graduating from high school. From the time she was young, she always knew she was adopted and wondered about her birth parents. She had some verbal information about them from her adopted family, but her records were sealed, as in the case of so many other adoptees.

When Louise’s only son was born, she was in awe, as many adoptees are, at having her first known biological relative. Staring at her son in the delivery room, she said, “I know him.” This sparked an intense desire to discover her true nature, beyond her nurture and adoption, and how everything since her birth led to the making of Louise.

Then, when Louise was 32, her biological family found her and called her at home in Los Angeles. It was then that she found out that her birth mother had died in a tragic accident in 1975. This piece of information proved to be a touchstone between the guiding and protective voice in her head and the events of the past.

On the podcast website, Browne says, "Hosting Adoption: the Making of Me has brought questions and past feelings to the surface about why I had always felt the way I did. Sharing this journey of discovery with the adopted community has proven to be a life-changing experience."

Co-host Sarah Reinhardt is a writer, empty-nester, OCD dog parent, and adoptee.

Sarah was born in the baby scoop era in St. Louis, MO, but only by chance — her birth mother’s water broke on the ascent from JFK to St. Louis. When Sarah found that out later, her lifelong obsession with New York City made sense.

Sarah grew up in a small town in Missouri with a younger brother who was adopted, and younger twins (brothers) who were the biological children of her adopted parents.

It was only when Sarah was pregnant with her own child that she began to wonder 'who' she was. The search for her biological roots began.

What followed was a reunion with her birth mother and siblings, and the discovery that her birth father had died before she was able to locate him.

It wasn’t until starting the podcast and reading The Primal Wound that, in the adoptee universe terms, Sarah’s ‘fog’ began to lift.

Sarah loves providing a platform for adoption stories, and she hopes to be involved in adoptee advocation for years to come.

The podcast began in April 2021 with two powerful episodes, which were the adoption stories of the co-hosts, Louise and Sarah.

Each season, Sarah and Louise recap a chapter from a book centered on adoption and then interview a guest. Season One broke down The Primal Wound by Nancy Newton Verrier, Season Two tackled Journey of the Adopted Self by Betty Jean Lifton, and in Season Three, they discussed three adoptee memoirs.

In each episode, the stories of adoptees is riveting because it hits at the core of our being -- identity. In the most recent show, Vicki talked about the difficulty of obtaining records about her birth parents.

In the August 22nd episode, Rivi tells her tale of adoption. Hers was an open adoption, which meant she had access to information about her birth parents. Rivi was able to connect with her biological family, yet her biological mother was still struggling with addiction. When she was 21, she was able to live with her biological father.

The redemptive part of the episode is Rivi's musical talent, which apparently was a family gift. She now deals with her abandonment issues through songwriting.

One of the more enriching and uplifting episodes was October 24th, when Louise and Sarah talked with Gregory Luce is an adoptee from Washington, D.C. Luce has given back to the adoption community by becoming the founder of the Adoptee Rights Law Center. Luce is also co-founder and executive director of Adoptees United, Inc., a national adoptee rights group.

The episodes of Adoption: the Making of Me offer listeners a better understanding of the world of adoptees. I'll admit that it's not a world I thought much about. After listening to the episodes about the experiences of these adoptees, I feel this strange brew of emotions. Empathy for the adoptees. Outrage that the system seems so broken. Privileged that these adoptees chose this podcast to share their private stories of their identity - or lack thereof -- with listeners like me. Thankful to Louise and Sarah for opening up a world to us that would have remained unknown and unexplored if these two women didn't have the courage and compassion to enable their two voices to speak for thousands.

Last week, November 18, was National Adoption Day, a time to raise awareness about the thousands of children eagerly awaiting a loving and permanent home. In the United States, there are approximately 120,000 children currently in foster care hoping for the opportunity to be part of a forever family.

Check out Adoption: The Making Of Me. It's Thanksgiving. For those who have a family and whine about having to visit them for Thanksgiving, perhaps listening to this podcast will make you think twice. Consider the people who lingered in foster care, had horrible experiences in the adoption system, and did not know their biological parents, where they came from, and why they were given away.

There's an evil trick that older siblings have played on younger ones forever. That's telling the younger, gullible sibling, "You're adopted."

Even if a person's adopted parents are caring and loving, there's still those questions: Who am I? Where do I come from? Why was I given away?

There's a quote from a mother who adopted: “A child born to another woman calls me mom. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me.”